What The ?

Are eyes met across a crowded pub?  
Through a sea of checked shirts  
And lepardskin prints  
Disguising beer breath  
With tic tacks and breath mints  
Beer goggles at maximum strength  
I imagine myself kissing your naked flesh  
   
With one finger you summoned me  
I stood petrified, with a jerking knee  
I made my way over to the corner of the pub  
You were gorgeous; I could not believe my luck  
You were sexy, alone, and very single  
With these other men you did not mingle  
   
You said you were "horny"  
I thought you were a knockout and    
Extremely naughty  
I said    
"This sort of thing never happens"  
As we descended into realms of passion  
   
You wanted my body now  
You wanted to go at me like a snow plough  
We called a taxi  
Returned to your apartment  
In the back seat    
You played with my pleasure department  
   
We held each other in each other’s arms  
We felt safe from harm  
I felt the gentle caress of your breasts  
Gently touching my naked chest  
her hand's reaches down my pants  
Until she strikes gold  
Running her fingers down my length  
I couldn’t resist    
i was weak, I had no strength.  
   
Consumed by fire’s  
Of woton desire.  
Unfastened buttons and zips  
Belts and buckles  
I kissed your sexy lips  
I’m stood to attention  
Hard as a rock    
I go down....  
   
…Until I’m smacked  
In the face by  
A giant cock!!!  
   
What the????  
Shit….  
You’re a man?  
.....Dam!!!  
 
Just my luck!