deepundergroundpoetry.com
Numbing Poison
I need this poison sucked out of me
I don't want to die
From this 12 year old snake bite
The poison has slowly been eating me
Mentally, emotionally and ever physically
Its been driving me insane
It hurts just to think about my room
The poison is so strong
My body begs me to get it out
And the only way I know how
Is though tears
Black tears of pain
It hurts to cry so hard
To muffle the sound of agony
I want them to come to my rescue
But then I want to push them away
My emotions are confused with themselves
They don't know which way to go
I'm lost even more than my emotions
My sense of direction is clouded
By this poison
Who will help me take it out of my body?
Why will heal this infected snake bite?
I need a shoulder to cry on
Someone who is willing to hold the weight of these poisoned tears
On their shoulders and still smile
I need someone who will let me cry until I can't anymore
To let me drain this Numbing Poison out of my heart and soul
I need help
I can't do this alone
Inn need someone to hold me in their arms
And help me suck this poison out of my system
With their words, their presence
I need their comforting words
Not just to get close to me
But to actually care about me
To care what happens to me
To understand the pain this poison has caused
To know how much I need them
Take this poison out of my life...
I don't want to die
From this 12 year old snake bite
The poison has slowly been eating me
Mentally, emotionally and ever physically
Its been driving me insane
It hurts just to think about my room
The poison is so strong
My body begs me to get it out
And the only way I know how
Is though tears
Black tears of pain
It hurts to cry so hard
To muffle the sound of agony
I want them to come to my rescue
But then I want to push them away
My emotions are confused with themselves
They don't know which way to go
I'm lost even more than my emotions
My sense of direction is clouded
By this poison
Who will help me take it out of my body?
Why will heal this infected snake bite?
I need a shoulder to cry on
Someone who is willing to hold the weight of these poisoned tears
On their shoulders and still smile
I need someone who will let me cry until I can't anymore
To let me drain this Numbing Poison out of my heart and soul
I need help
I can't do this alone
Inn need someone to hold me in their arms
And help me suck this poison out of my system
With their words, their presence
I need their comforting words
Not just to get close to me
But to actually care about me
To care what happens to me
To understand the pain this poison has caused
To know how much I need them
Take this poison out of my life...
Published 9th Oct 2012
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9th Oct 2012 3:11pm
I think you should take the more indirect route on this one. Poison is a great metaphor. I would suggest you look up information on how various poisons affect the body, and then use that information and infuse it into your writing. Details like that can really create a much fuller, complete work.
On a side note, no one can remove the pain for you. Even when they help, in the end the choice is yours. Best of luck.
-Salut-
On a side note, no one can remove the pain for you. Even when they help, in the end the choice is yours. Best of luck.
-Salut-
10th Oct 2012 00:20am
Thank you, Jeremiah. I will take that to mind. I know that no one can truely do anything for me, but I can dream, can't I?
19th Jan 2013 9:37am
Hi, Wolfie, it's me, Liesl. There is one person who did do one thing for you. Please don't forget. Also, I care. Jeremiah is right about the choice being yours, though it won't be easy by any means, and I also agree with his critique, it would add some punch to the work.
