deepundergroundpoetry.com
A Fieldlab
1.
I helped her
with the suit-
case. It was
so stingy and
light. She
owned nothing,
but a plastic
cup of Donald
Duck, smiling.
2.
In the hallway
there was nothing,
not even her usual
tears, not even my
frightened talk.
3.
At the door I
gently kissed her,
trembling almost as
much as her: but
we knew each other.
I helped her
with the suit-
case. It was
so stingy and
light. She
owned nothing,
but a plastic
cup of Donald
Duck, smiling.
2.
In the hallway
there was nothing,
not even her usual
tears, not even my
frightened talk.
3.
At the door I
gently kissed her,
trembling almost as
much as her: but
we knew each other.
Published 1st Oct 2012
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likes 2
reading list entries 1
comments 4
reads 681
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
1st Oct 2012 7:27pm
<< post removed >>
2nd Oct 2012 7:04pm
GAIL:
Thank you, from the depths of my being, for your long analysis, reflections, etc. on the poem. Your comments and insights make poetry worth writing.
marcella1
Thank you, from the depths of my being, for your long analysis, reflections, etc. on the poem. Your comments and insights make poetry worth writing.
marcella1
2nd Oct 2012 10:49pm
Beautifully written almost to the point of perfection in a simple but elegant style(your style)...
Credit to you mercella... it is one gem of a piece.
however, the ending "but we know each other" seems out of sorts with the usual clarity of the poem(i feel) except ofcourse that person was you(in which case i'll distance myself from my feelings once again... it is a dangerous thing i tell you!..)
Thanks for a briliant read mercella!
Credit to you mercella... it is one gem of a piece.
however, the ending "but we know each other" seems out of sorts with the usual clarity of the poem(i feel) except ofcourse that person was you(in which case i'll distance myself from my feelings once again... it is a dangerous thing i tell you!..)
Thanks for a briliant read mercella!
3rd Oct 2012 2:37pm
