Agent Orange

This is the tale of a struggle,
One I was never intended to win.
This hopelessness stems from the realization,
That I am lost and beginning to tailspin.
I'm DEFECTIVE, UNSAVABLE,
There’s a reason I wasn't mass-produced.
Step into my life for one single minuet,
And tell me you don't want to MURDER YOU.
There's no voices in my head,
There’s just all this GOD DAMNED NOISE!!!!!!
I SCREAM at myself, and fuckin BLEED on myself,
Beating my head against the wall - to kill the noise.
I am the one kept in silence,
Until evil matters arise.
I am the one raised by violence,
Deeply dark and despised.
There's no chance for salvation,
With suicidal blood on your hands.
This is true retaliation,
Enduring more than I can stand.
REAL EYES   REALIZE   REAL LIES,
I see right through your facade.
Man created a sickness,
I created a God.
Eradicate the enemy,
Shed his blood for your sin.
Mutilate the enemy,
thein enemy within.
[Split]---[personality]
Paranoia, DEPRESSION.
A death addled addict,
Threatening regression.
Bedtime stories,
Of a loaded Glock .45
Hopelessness and heroin,
No longer concerned with the "why".
I've lost any and all control,
Unintentionally shifting mental gears.
I've been hiding long enough;
It’s time I faced this fear.
Unable to remember,
The reasons I've fought,
A finger on the trigger,
For the reprieve I've sought.