Betrayal

I close my eyes and see you
In the bed of someone else.
I try to shake the image
But nothing really helps.

I try to imagine the conversations,
The words spoken and texts sent,
Did you ever think to mention me?
Or was your relationship content?

Did you talk to me and turn around,
And plan a weekend tryst?
Did you think of her while with me?
My insecurities are too long to list.

Did you make love to me the night before,
Then fuck her in the morning hours?
Did you set your alarm to wake up early,
Or did you set your mental powers.

You complained about sleep or lack of,
You had to be in bed by nine,
You couldn’t sit in there with me,
You didn’t have the time.

But you would wake up a little early,
Get dressed without a sound
Make sure you didn't wake me
And then drive across the town.

You left our bed to visit her,
Your wife and daughter there asleep,
Did you ever look at us and wonder,
Or was your love just not that deep.

Did you leave her bed that morning,
Then call me throughout the day,
To tell me how much you love me,
Because you didn’t know what else to say?

Did I not show you enough attention,
Was there not enough sex throughout the week?
Was there something else missing in our marriage,
For which you had to seek?

I don’t know how to make you happy,
I thought we were okay,
But obviously you need something more
To make you not need to stray.

I wonder what she did for you
To keep you in her bed
You say there was nothing there
But I can’t get that through my head.

Did she touch you like this, did she move like that,
I need to know what I can do
To make you want to stay in our bed,
Instead of going to someone new.

It wasn’t about convenience,
It was strategic and planned ahead.
Did she tell you things you needed to hear,
Or did she just give good head?

What changes do I have to make
To become the partner of your dreams,
Because I thought I was there already,
But life is not always as it seems.

I wonder - can we make it through this?
I don't want it to be the end.
Will you find your way back to me
Or will I lose you to this "friend"

If you tell me that we're over
and we'll always be apart
You may as well just grab a gun
and put a bullet in my heart.