In my Eyes as A Teenage Girl

I stare at the wall,
many sleepless nights.
Several tears in my eyes,
not completely sure why.
Feeling of failure, thoughts of death,
attemtpting to push it all away with the little strength I have left.
Ugly girls looking pretty, pretty girls looking better,
and then it's my looks that I put into question.
Still in love with my ex, liking my bestfriend,
wanting two other guys, but they have girlfriends.
Unhappy in my looks, over flowed with my insecurities,
most guys want me for my body, because they see nothing more in me.
Parents don't trust me, think they wish I wasn't here,
guessing I was an accidental baby better to not know but the truth is still unfair.
So what do you do if the "Hellos" are really lies,
the truth doesn't exsist, and those forever "Goodbyes".
You may see it different but you have to promise you'd take my word,
but this is what I see through my eyes as a teenage girl.
It's not that I'm ungreatful or unsatisfied,
it's just how I see life through my teenage eyes.