Road Trip (4th - 7th Sep '12)

Will I be lost for words or will I find myself rewriting this in more ways than I know how to?    
My mind recoils in perplexia at the thought of transforming feelings into words. I've never been so dulled or dumbfounded ever.    
This vexation won't die so easily.    
   
I guess I should start at the beginning or I could break it all apart and make scrambled eggs.    
Lying here in a two by two headed back home after a long yet blissful day, worrying - yes worrying if I got all my marbles in check, If I should have massaged my senses a bit longer, if the choices I made were worth it seems but all too familiar.    
Not two Hours ago did the fiery red blend into the finest of scotch and drop from the edge of the world concealed by a darker shade than grey.    
Listless I tarried with a gaze of such fervor that nothing could distract.    
Where the clouds come to cry, the waves to gnash and all of creation plays out its servilely monotonous role, I am here.    
A sordid morning led me to that moment of exhilaration.    
A sleepless night birthing hallucinations and nightmares preceded.    
Tense as steel.    
Anxiety without anxiety.    
Stranger than the last two sentences.    
Pale sick, gripping to the fever. Refusing to calm and return to the old articulated self. Solitude is scarcely ever without pain.    
When I first got here it was yesterday, lucid, early bright. Cool and calm and all sorts of compliments one would associate white sandy shores with.    
It was raining and my aches had soothed to numb.    
This is where all the breeze that blew me bald began.    
I ran.    
From disappointing days, from lethargic nights.    
From all things that defined my life.    
Maybe I was weak. But when I missed my bus to my preplanned destination I knew I wasn't going to wait to tempt fate.    
So without thinking I hopped on the next one heading out to a place far beyond the confines of my comfort and disposition.    
Sooner than I knew it I was drunk making plans to head to where I am now returning from. The train journey was hell as always.    
I can't stand being jailed up, in a place smaller than the public bathroom at the railway station, with 71 people no less.    
Animals in cubicles.    
Truly breathtaking and beautiful sights stole my eyes from the chaos upon the tracks.    
Lush fields and farms for miles watched over by slumbering peaks.    
The train was running an hour late - typical. But that's not an excuse to puff away at the door. Before departure I played the hero and sparked up in one of the hottest places in the city. The Law all around in plain sight sniffing for my gold.    
Never cared before didn't care now.    
   
What anticipation ripened the previous night, not knowing what would transpire. It began before dawn's sly smile and me, sharp and ready.
Now, three days later in the black of night I am nostalgic and weary.    
Writhing in my personal hell of obstinacy, yet I revel in the reality of cutting lose the weight of my grudges.    
Enlightened, like a ladybird on a flower.    
Strained eyes on a feigned heart, how grim!    
Home seems like a good reprieve.    
Sixteen hours and counting.    
Soon.