Reoccurring Events of Confusion

 
When I thought my day would not become worse,  
I ran into my one and only curse.  
 
I cannot comprehend what is incorrect with me-  
But when ever I see you now, I feel relived.  
Perhaps because you are the one who demolished my innocence,  
Or that when you leave, I feel as if I'm imagining your existence.  
 
From the first day that I recognized your face,  
I felt my entire body explode with torching ice.  
I knew I knew you from somewhere-  
And where that Somewhere was.  
But I refused to believe it-that is-  
Until I heard your voice.  
 
After that,I never spoke, I never laughed;  
I only choked and gasped.  
 
Time passes by- a year.  
And now I'm confused  
over Love, and over Hate.  
I Know that I hate you-  
But only for what you did in the past.  
 
I've experienced love before, and remain to possess it.  
But the feeling of love, and the feeling of fear in my mind  
Emit the same emotions-  
Which is why I am confused:  
I do not know if I love you;  
For, when you leave, I long for your return-  
Or, if it is Fear and Hate;  
For when you are near me, I long for you to disappear.  
 
 

       9/4/12