deepundergroundpoetry.com
My Skin Crawls
When his touch is all I long for,
And I only find it rough and raw,
The way I bend to please it,
Makes my skin begin to crawl.
When I only need some borrowed time,
To think alone and SLEEP,
His voice is there to prickle me,
And fish me from the deep.
When I only need a little faith,
From some one else but him,
And my family just turns away,
Worshipping my sins .
When he tells me I'm no good for him,
He'll find somebody new.
How his voice drips with honey,
"Nobody will ever want you."
How I run in ragged circles,
To scared to jump and face the fall,
How I'm not so strong without him,
Makes my skin begin to crawl.
And I only find it rough and raw,
The way I bend to please it,
Makes my skin begin to crawl.
When I only need some borrowed time,
To think alone and SLEEP,
His voice is there to prickle me,
And fish me from the deep.
When I only need a little faith,
From some one else but him,
And my family just turns away,
Worshipping my sins .
When he tells me I'm no good for him,
He'll find somebody new.
How his voice drips with honey,
"Nobody will ever want you."
How I run in ragged circles,
To scared to jump and face the fall,
How I'm not so strong without him,
Makes my skin begin to crawl.
Published 1st Sep 2012
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The author encourages honest critique.
1st Nov 2012 5:24pm
Your poem uses remarkable language ("Worshipping my sins"). Likewise having the final and initial line the same adds consistency. I appreciate and like the poem, with its even and well-placed metaphors. But (and there is always a "but") the second to the last line ("How I'm not so strong without him") contradicts the things you say about him. It seems to me it's something (one) else that's driving you, that you really want.
marcella1
marcella1
