It's Not Fair

I lay here listening to my love songs,
Crying my eyes out wishing she'd come along.
Take away the pain.
Why does nobody care?
It's not fair.
I want to feel that intimacy rare,
With someone who makes my heart flutter,
And my knees rubber.
And my palms sweaty.
Because I think I'm ready
To be touched inside
By an angel that resides
In my world-
that girl.
Who thinks of me everyday,
And comes over just to play.
Long walks at dusk,
Only to sneak out for a midnight rush.
I can almost smell her hair.
It's not fair.
She doesn't need to be perfect, or even pretty.
I'm not one to be too picky.
When I see couples walk by hand in hand,
Or hear that hip loves song from that cool new band,
I feel that muscle in my chest tear.
Oh, it's not fair.
I feel my heart breaking in so many places.
and everyday it's just me going through the paces.
Point? None.
Hope? Nil.
Need? To fill-
This empty void inside
That makes me break down and cry
When all my friends are lucky in love,
And I can't even feel love from above.
My emotions laid bare,
And It's still not fair.
What have I done so bad
That I deserve to be this sad?
What have i done so wrong
That for love I must wait so long?
How much more
Am I to endure
Before Love's bright eyes
Are looking in mine?
I feel like I'll jump off a bridge on a dare,
Because it's just not fair.
More daydreams-
More pain and loss,
I want to scream,
But not in the house.
Come from nowhere in the middle of the night.
Take me away from my lonely life.
Invite me on your journey away from turmoil,
And by dawn we'll be treading new soil.
No more lies.
No more waiting.
No more bedtime cries.
No more hating
Myself.
Hold me tight.
Don't leave me alone,
Not tonight.
I need this right now, whatever it is.
Why can't I have that moment of bliss?
That bed,
Some popcorn,
And a good movie to share?
Why?
Because it's not fair.
I hyperventilate, and my eyes water.
I bury my face in my hands and sob harder.
No one seems to understand.
I started to fall where there's no land.
It's a dark, painful fall.
For help, I won't call.
I fall in love,
There's no one to catch me.
They all flee,
Because I'm an unlovable entity.
And as I weep, all you can hear-
"It's not fair..
It's not fair.."