deepundergroundpoetry.com
plea
I want you to hold me tight against yourself
my sweat on us both
lubricating our bodies dance
one on top of the other
beg for me to cum in you
I want to hear you beg for it
I want to hear your noises
when you have to cum
I want you to beg for me to let you cum
beg me to let you cum
I'll keep you on the edge
just for a moment
and then we both release
my sweat on us both
lubricating our bodies dance
one on top of the other
beg for me to cum in you
I want to hear you beg for it
I want to hear your noises
when you have to cum
I want you to beg for me to let you cum
beg me to let you cum
I'll keep you on the edge
just for a moment
and then we both release
Published 9th Apr 2010
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Anonymous
9th Apr 2010 10:53pm
and this dark, gritty and eloquent poem is yet another example of your dedication to the probing of sex and violence and love, seemingly without fear of what you might uncover.
10th Apr 2010 00:44am
you like the lubricating bodies line? yeah I wasnt sure if it would work Im glad you like it.. yes I love thinking of different ways to think about sex and what I can do with it and what I can write about it.. uncensored as always.. cheers!
9th Apr 2010 11:17pm
Well, Nathan. I find the repetition
a little tedious. Too many instances
of "I want." Why use "cum" three times?
There are loads of synonyms. To make this work, heat it up as it were, I suggest shortening it and sculpting it to a few viral/venal lines. A more startling lexicon might do the trick.
a little tedious. Too many instances
of "I want." Why use "cum" three times?
There are loads of synonyms. To make this work, heat it up as it were, I suggest shortening it and sculpting it to a few viral/venal lines. A more startling lexicon might do the trick.
10th Apr 2010 00:45am
Anonymous
10th Apr 2010 11:09am
stark erotic verse,narrated in your usual mix of the delicate and the haunting.you know what i feel you should couple your poems with your drawings, one is certainly an extension of the other.
11th Apr 2010 11:50am
I've thought of that.. at one point one of my early books had a drawing for every poem.. but to me they don't go together.. I don't write for my drawings.. I don't draw for my writings.. same with music.. they're all extensions of me but separate islands unto themselves..
Anonymous
11th Apr 2010 5:12pm
see that nathan, what i meant is not writing for drawings, i just felt that they both share the same darkness and physicality and that sheer sense of need.I dont know dear, that was just a thought having seen a little bit of ur artwork :-)
