deepundergroundpoetry.com
we will be forever
The way you look at me
makes me smile.
The way you smile at me
makes me laugh.
The way you hug me
makes me never want to let go.
The way you kiss me
makes me never want to lean away.
The way you love me
makes me feel like I can fly.
The way you are perfect
makes me feel like I'm not good enough,
but the way you tell me I'm perfect
makes me feel loved.
The way we are together
makes me feel like we will be forever.
makes me smile.
The way you smile at me
makes me laugh.
The way you hug me
makes me never want to let go.
The way you kiss me
makes me never want to lean away.
The way you love me
makes me feel like I can fly.
The way you are perfect
makes me feel like I'm not good enough,
but the way you tell me I'm perfect
makes me feel loved.
The way we are together
makes me feel like we will be forever.
Published 30th Mar 2010
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24th Apr 2010 6:54am
9th Jun 2012 7:51pm
This poem has a lot going for it, Erika.
It sounds really attached and honest (and surely had that effect on whomever was fortunate enough to have it from You). What feels missing, though, is a full circle.
You go from looking to smiling, from smiling, to laughing, and then from hugging to affection, from kissing to attachment, from loving to sensation.
It would have been awesome if You had made it continue in the stile of the first four lines (which are amazing), somehow continuing drawing "the circle".
It sounds really attached and honest (and surely had that effect on whomever was fortunate enough to have it from You). What feels missing, though, is a full circle.
You go from looking to smiling, from smiling, to laughing, and then from hugging to affection, from kissing to attachment, from loving to sensation.
It would have been awesome if You had made it continue in the stile of the first four lines (which are amazing), somehow continuing drawing "the circle".
