The Joys Of School

Breakfast time
get up at eight
skip breakfast so im not late

School time
get my books and
fall in hallway
when I get up everyone is laughing
even the teachers
I hate it when people trip me

In class
I sit alone and wait
for the taunting to begin
I wish i could write in my notebook
but the teacher saw me writing last class
and made me read what i had written to the class
it was a love poem about the girl i liked
she cried and ran away
not because she was happy
but because I humiliated her
everyone makes fun of her now
I wish I wasnt a cowered
then I could kill myself

Lunch
I hide in the library
and pray that they wont find me
I cant eat in the library
so i ignore the hunger that I feel
if I go outside
I know that
the meen kids will attack me
they surround me like a pack of hungry dogs
theres no escaping them once they get me
so here I spend my lucnchs
alone

After school
I walk home
its a hour walk to my broken home in the country
but at least im not by myself
my ipod is with me
my ipod is my only friend
and the music
is the only person who ever talks to me
in a nice way
this is the highlight of my day

At home
my dad left before I was born
sometimes my mom comes home late
and sometimes she doesnt come home at all
I wish I wasnt alone

My wish is granted
and instantly i wish it wasnt
SMASH
glass shatters
and I feel the breeze
coming from the hole in my house
were my window once was

Outside I can see the girl of my dreams
she opens the passenger door
to her car
and screams at her boyfriend
she tells him to leave me alone
for a second
I almost believe
that they will leave me
alone with my self sympathy

Then he pushs her away
my heart lurchs
as I watch her fall to the ground
then it gets worse

He opens the door to my house
and not for the first time I wish that the door had a lock
he looks around
then our eyes meet
there is a glint in his eyes
as he walks closer to me
he shouts
I tremble
he punches
I fall
I try to defend myself
but its no use
the blows just keep coming
its a relentless attack
and then
it stops

I look up and see her
she is standing between me and him
I can feel the tears fall done my face
not because of the pain
but because no one has ever stood up for me before

She pleads
he shoves her aside
his face is as red
as a can of beans at a BBQ
I almost manage a smile
when his fist comes crashing down
on my face again

She tries to push him away
he turns around and
gives her a right hook to the nose
she falls down and gasps for air
he starts panicking
he says that he is sorry
but he isnt
at least not yet
but he will be

I slowly get up
my knees are shaking
I can barely stand
but I know what I must do
I muster up as much strength as I can
and kick him
I miss and fall over
always falling over
he looks down at me and says
You! This is your fault! You fucking faggot!

He pulls out a knife
and stabs me
and stabs me again
its like someone took a handful of glass
shoved it in my stomach
and then wrenched it
and the pain doesnt go away
it only gets worse

She runs up to him
she slaps him
and screams
in retaliation he takes his blade
thrusts it in her stomach and makes an arch in her
it kinda looks like a smiley face
until her guts fall to the floor

He slowly backs away
I can see the fear in his eyes
as he turns his back to me
and runs away

As I look at her body on the floor next to me
I realize that this is all her fault
if she had never existed
I never would of wrote
that stupid poem
and I would be alone right now
with my music and my notebook
and my lonesomeness

Even though it hurts like hell
with the last bit of my strength
I reach out and grab her hand
and I use my final breath to say

I LOVE YOU