deepundergroundpoetry.com
Drowning
Tread not the water of silence but
Float on stone still. Not a
ripple create along the icy lake
of commitment and disappointment
and the lonely ache.
Inattention carries us to the center
no raft or paddle or rescue.
Without sight of shore, we wait
while the water rises
And our breadth and fate become
choked by the drowning liquid -
silence and sadness.
Float on stone still. Not a
ripple create along the icy lake
of commitment and disappointment
and the lonely ache.
Inattention carries us to the center
no raft or paddle or rescue.
Without sight of shore, we wait
while the water rises
And our breadth and fate become
choked by the drowning liquid -
silence and sadness.
Published 8th Jul 2012
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25th Jul 2012 5:07am
26th Jul 2012 11:11am
14th Aug 2012 3:46am
I think the poetry is wonderfully full, and so if you want to work on the poem try a form exchange.
I'm using this modified linked method that cuts stanzas by language breaks, and so the from is rather predictable but very natural. Something like:
Drowning
Tread not
the water
of silence
Float
on stone still.
Not a ripple create
along the icy lake
of commitment
and disappointment
and the lonely ache.
Inattention
carries us
to the center
no raft
or paddle
or rescue.
Without sight
of shore,
we wait
while the water rises
And our breadth
and fate
become choked
by the drowning liquid -
silence and sadness.
Use it if it pleases you....you've got presence and grasp already.
I'm using this modified linked method that cuts stanzas by language breaks, and so the from is rather predictable but very natural. Something like:
Drowning
Tread not
the water
of silence
Float
on stone still.
Not a ripple create
along the icy lake
of commitment
and disappointment
and the lonely ache.
Inattention
carries us
to the center
no raft
or paddle
or rescue.
Without sight
of shore,
we wait
while the water rises
And our breadth
and fate
become choked
by the drowning liquid -
silence and sadness.
Use it if it pleases you....you've got presence and grasp already.
