deepundergroundpoetry.com
I think I've thought this once before...
Pressing our flesh to cold concrete as we bury regrets under years of worn down cement… the world we know. Memories forgotten, abandoned in bodies dumped in a bloody betrayal, the dead end wishes I’ve given up on. Disregarded ever promise. But I’m just another face, blindly following words I’ve been convinced to believe in. A corpse, vying for your attention- the apathy neglecting to fill this void. Dialog slowly forming a catalytic addiction, a dead-aim hangover for social insecurity. My smoke-stained mind, seeping with flaws… addicted to the crash.I’m becoming redundant, again. [/font]
Published 6th Mar 2010
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6th Mar 2010 11:32am
Hi, I really enjoyed reading this. Phrases like ‘dead end wishes’ and the opening line work very well. Not sure about ‘Disregarded ever promise’ though. Also I would consider dropping the last sentence and ending on ‘addicted to the crash’.
A good piece.
A good piece.
