short-lived fantasies

3 of 30


everything...
every imaginable uplifting
gifted to me in that moment of time
that's what it gave me

on a wild whim I entered
never expecting any kind of return
they all said it wouldn't happen
insistent my stature wasn't up to the challenge

{what's wrong with being petite?!}

but for the first time...
I followed my dream
a few simple photos
brief biography
stuffed in an envelope
addressed & sent

& the unthinkable occurred
I got the call
date set & location
again...I went...despite them
all the naysayers
& their cautionary words

it was...terrifying...
but the lights...the music...
the power of the walk...my stomp
Livin' on a Prayer...
the thundering applause
better than any drug

goddess...it consumed all my fear
filling me with fire
600 of us took a chance
10 got called back
one of them...was short little ol' me

I could barely breathe
but I walked & posed
did exactly as I was told
& in a silent corner of my mind...
allowed a tiny pocket of hope

took years to admit my disappointment
when they chose someone else
statuesque...of course
I never really wanted to be famous
I only hungered to be something special

{which I already am...
though I couldn't see it then}

but for those few weeks...
I had fire & drive...
& damn...
...I felt so {beautifully} alive