From One Mother To Another

It's a beautiful gift to watch your children tackle life unbroken when something so broken raised them. Hiding the pain was worth it, and in the moments when I couldn't cope, when I would spill over because it was all just too much, well, I regret not being stronger in those moments. Because in those moments they couldn't understand that part of mom, the war of cycle breaking and the toll it takes on mind body and soul, where I would lay in bed for three or four days crying and praying, praying for God to renew my strength, but never once did I lay a hand on them, never once did I withhold my love for them.
It's not arrogant to feel good about that, or to have a sense of accomplishment in some manner. I'm thankful for the strength given to be able to do different after so many generations of broken women that were children, then they became mothers at young ages with detached emotions and quick hands of judgements against their own, just like the mom they themselves had to endure.
Abuse is a cycle, and it will continue into generations until someone steps out of the loop and sees it for the damage it does within families.
I know I'm not a perfect mom, or wife for that manner, but I will always be a trying one, and I tell all my children, if I were an inadequate parent in anything in your lives, please know i really tried and did my best, and when you have children of your own, set goals and do better than me. Then eventually, the tree will be strong and bloom again. ❤️