What I must do, is hard when I want you

I still want you,
Though I say I don’t.
I may sound convincing,
But this mask I wear
Cannot hide the truth I feel inside.
I desire you in ways I should,
And in ways I know I shouldn’t.
I long to see you shine,
Yet part of me wants to see how far
I can push you, make you bend.
It feels as though we’ve been robbed—
Never given the chance
To explore what we could have been.
And now, perhaps it’s time
To let you go.
But what are we to do,
When neither of us wants that choice?
I’ll always find my way back to you,
And you’ll always pull me in,
Until there’s nothing left but the end