Goodbye again

Goodbye again.
Things we seek aren't what they seem.
Happiness in August.
Colors in September.
Void...
Black and grey back and forth day after soulless day.
Did you really think this cycle was different?
Oh, dont be so difficult mark.
Cast down into forbidden memories and moments;
Colors and splashes and patches from bruises.
Wonder yesterday.
Pain today.
Empty tomorrow by filling this moment.
The blade, the matches, I don't play with fire.
Escape the world by tempting fate.
Do you wish for karma to come out and play?
You lier.
You just wish to be home yet homeless.
Goodbye again.
Promises made year after year...
Needy bitch.
That's just how you feel right?
Time flies with the twilight.
Dusk approach with agression you needed.
Break free but only if others denounce your depression.
-Hey stop being like that...-
You lier.
All you ever needed in the palm of your hand.
Everyone is with you;
Just a grain of sand.
They are on your side they are close, near by.
But they aren't really with you.
Over and over I'll say it again.
And they will grow tired and leave you again.
It's empty endless.
The darkness grows when there is no witness.
Into grey and black you go...
Back and forth day after soulless day.
Like a chicken headless I go down and down until it's all relentless.
Kind regards.
Isn't it lovely?
At least I'm polite as I lie...
I'm alright.

Was it ever supposed to make sense?
My senses are burning.
My mind isn't learning-
I'm learning so much.
And I've got a hunch,
Deep lesions are growing:
My cancerous doom.
The mind expands but the pain does too.
Pain unknowable until it becomes part of you.
Identity.
You didn't ask but we identify as confused-
We lost the war.
Now my name has been stolen-
My mind and my will and my patience all hopess.
Goodbye again old friend...