Self-Love Song

 
How far in must I get to be heard
It seems no matter how I put it, you still don’t hear a single word
Through filters of pride and the will to misunderstand
I’m casualty to your resentment and your broken upper hand

When success is an illusion and achievements are in vain
Justify your cowardice against how you weigh the delusion of my pain

I guess the scars don’t exist, it’s just imaginary the way that I bleed
As it all seeps to the surface and my lips make roses of every weed

Trace back the roots, the garden is overrun
If you knew then what you knew now, my life would have never begun

Wishing for abortions on the terms of the life that you’ve got now
Blame your lack of contentment on the undercurrent of those that to your will won’t bow

I guess I’m the problem and you always got it right
Is it for love or for your pride you fight?

Rehashing to regurgitate what you can’t seem to chew
Even if I make it plain it’s just too much for you

When write offs are easier than coming to terms with another point of view
I’m not broken this time because I’ve outgrown my need for you

Good riddance as they say, I never wanted it this way
But I can’t change what you refuse to see
When all I asked is for just a dose of some humility

I guess you got your way, now you’ve rid yourself of me
Are you happy now when your sense of love is isolation and captivity?

Fortify your walls to fake home in the remaking
When your life is a black hole that just keeps right on taking

I’ve nothing left to give, I guess we’re better off this way
When fathers bastardize their children when they refuse to stay

Gloating over failures despite the way that it reflects on you what’s dead weight to a dead beat?
When all is said and done and our funerals enshrine
I question even then if your skeleton will have a spine

Stone versus heart whose got the right to judge
I honestly don’t hate you but there’s no resolution when in the end you’re the one that still harbors a grudge
Truly you’re forgiven but I’ve got get things off my chest
But you don’t want to listen so you lay me down to rest

Till fair weather tides bring the illusion of restoration
I’m not looking for a pretense to play house
When you crucify your children on the altar
The idol worship of an illegitimate spouse

I used to think you were better than this but I’m disenchanted after learning who you really are
When all that’s left of us is just another reason to sever ties and sear the scar

Make your case and defend when the guilt still lingers deep inside
Or is that just wishful thinking to imagine a heart
When the evidence that proves to invalidate my perspective finds you’re missing the most important part

Who are you? Who’ve you’ve been or who you were?
When life in the aftermath feels like the reality
The romance of childhood memories are like a dream recalled in a blur
When there’s two facets of a man with dualistic personality
I’m on the bridge you burned, and I hope that it was worth it, when it’s all about her

Collateral damage home-life, bystander ricochet’s of selfishness reforms
I’m rebuilding my life from the ruins of all these former storms

Don’t regret a thing, just remember you wanted it like this
When the balls in your court, just how are you going to play
When family feels like war and you have a way of causing me to relive the trauma of my yesterday

Perhaps it’s best we take some time when you said it best
I’m just a reminder of what failed
You wish it all away just to spare
the grief
But be honest with yourself
Would it be to salvage my heart or for your own relief?

I guess I’m just too honest and you can wash your hands and pretend you don’t have any responsibility
When love is relegated only to what’s easy and commitments are forged of trying prove me wrong
I just asked for some humility
But your pride is your self love song…