deepundergroundpoetry.com
Walls of Jericho
Built up by aggression,
anger,
fear,
depression.
Fuck,
I’m exhausted.
My grip,
I almost lost it.
The mortar that holds these walls
is thinning from my exasperation
from the demons
that I’m facing,
fucking contemplating
do I let them win,
or do I try and make it?
I’m so tired of faking,
so tired of pretending like I’m happy..
Sometimes I wonder if I’m gone,
could I truly be happy?
Set free from the bounds of this
world that doesn’t love me..
What would my God think?
Would he hate me or would he still love me?
To be free from the sorrows of tomorrow,
would be lovely..
These jericho walls slowly crumbling down
because I let the world beat me down..
Life has jumped in too,
beat me black and blue..
And to think, it’s supposed to make me stronger, right?
It couldn’t be more opposite
I’m weak,
I’m tired,
I’m suffocating,
where’s the oxygen?..
Got me feeling lost again..
till I catch sight of the rainbow,
I wonder where the rain’s gone…
Sheltered with a love I never knew before..
Slowly reminding myself of who I am,
once more..
I pray to manage, many more days ahead,
because there is so much love, wisdom,
and hope I have left to spread….
- Poetic Gawdess
anger,
fear,
depression.
Fuck,
I’m exhausted.
My grip,
I almost lost it.
The mortar that holds these walls
is thinning from my exasperation
from the demons
that I’m facing,
fucking contemplating
do I let them win,
or do I try and make it?
I’m so tired of faking,
so tired of pretending like I’m happy..
Sometimes I wonder if I’m gone,
could I truly be happy?
Set free from the bounds of this
world that doesn’t love me..
What would my God think?
Would he hate me or would he still love me?
To be free from the sorrows of tomorrow,
would be lovely..
These jericho walls slowly crumbling down
because I let the world beat me down..
Life has jumped in too,
beat me black and blue..
And to think, it’s supposed to make me stronger, right?
It couldn’t be more opposite
I’m weak,
I’m tired,
I’m suffocating,
where’s the oxygen?..
Got me feeling lost again..
till I catch sight of the rainbow,
I wonder where the rain’s gone…
Sheltered with a love I never knew before..
Slowly reminding myself of who I am,
once more..
I pray to manage, many more days ahead,
because there is so much love, wisdom,
and hope I have left to spread….
- Poetic Gawdess
Published 25th Jun 2024
Author's Note
**TW** subtle mentions of suicide/death/no longer being present Earth side. I want to be totally transparent.. for as long as I can remember I’ve dealt with anxiety and depression. Suicidal thoughts joined the party my senior year of high school, 12 years ago. It’s not something I’m proud of, nor is it something that I am ashamed of. In my 30 years of life I have experienced a lot of things, I have felt a lot of things, not all good, but not all bad either. This particular write has been in the archives for quite some time now, without a name. Today I decided to share something near and dear to my heart because at one time, this was my true feelings….I am by no means “healed”….but I am still “here”… 🫶🏽
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 2
reading list entries 1
comments 3
reads 386
Commenting Preference:
The author is looking for friendly feedback.
25th Jun 2024 4:34am
Brilliantly written. This is very powerful I can feel the emotion in your words. I can relate to this I to suffer from anxiety and depression. Praying for positive energy sent your way. Into the list it belongs. Appreciate you.
DL
DL
25th Jun 2024 4:46am
Hey DL, thank you so much for the kind words, for reading, and for putting me into your RL!
Much obliged xoxo,
~P.G💋
Much obliged xoxo,
~P.G💋
26th Jun 2024 10:54pm
I too suffered from A and D. I wanted to die almost everyday and really prayed for it. It took years before it all started to fade. But I've been there. I do hope your future is so bright, you have to wear shades. :))))
