Little Hiding Menace

I am unworthy to be seen
by such alive and vibrant eye  
Alone I hide, confined by brutal shyness  
Self esteem like that of any dull and drooling highness  
or fool neath family tree comprised of the forests finest  
 
Self destructive coward, scared  
of those to whom I heir,  
scared of thrones, scared of air,  
scared to roam, afraid of looming lairs  
and washing hair and those who stare  
and steep ramps and any stairs  

I'm scared to care  
or be prepared, scared to live  
I'm scared to be scared  
 
I would be brave had I the gift,  
the willpower to live,  
the will of ill flowers that live  
through acid showers  
and pill powder poured through sieves,
by kids like Syd in toy story,  
kids who flipped their lids,  
cause parents never popped him  
open to peek at the poison cookies hoarded
so
soon the pressure  
it gives  
atop gardens and victims,  
lost
lives abridged,  
and
I've no time for it,  
no will to resist,  
so I hide and
I sit,  
I've just quit, I am lit,  
little shit, throwing fits,  
I hardly exist,  
not a friend, not a family  
member I chit  
or I chat with, I plead the fifth,  
to the neighbor,  
the postman, just quietly ripped  
and torn up about it