ADDICTION

ADDICTED            
           
I feel addicted to what hurts me most          
I feel addicted to pain          
addicted to being sick and living    
with            
visions of ghosts          
to being broke          
           
To spinning webs          
all scouting in hopes          
of sticking to woes            
under the nose of            
a host          
who has daily dreams of snub noses          
   
happiness a door that closes            
when I wake          
I'm addicted to shakes            
and spewing bile          
that bellows, sends quakes            
down a poor girls' isle          
my insides piled on putrid tiles            
as a friends heart breaks            
probably nearly the most          
don't think of me      
not      
reviled          
           
Beguiled            
by          
sinners and snakes            
and            
sud filled lakes          
it's so sickening to    
up life's stakes          
that claim steep already          
I feel addicted to flakes          
quitters and bitches that          
society hates          
I feel stitched to stupid states            
and excess weight          
and wider pants, yet am somehow            
still entranced by            
the sight of empty plates and my stupid stomach          
unsatiated          
           
See I shun both crumbs and cakes          
buns and steaks and         
only hum to rum intake          
addicted to a saddening mate        
I move in maddening ways          
I'm          
addicted to a tears' gaze          
I should be clapped up          
berated          
burned at stake         
punished in a myriad ways          
           
I avoid sun rays          
hold blunts raised          
swallow poison          
till          
sunday          
addicted          
to having            
no fun days          
only sad and glum days          
baked          
addicted to shadows          
and the sound of gun bangs          
I'm addicted to rage          
and twisted pages          
tiffs with agents          
at times          
I don't even wish for patience in            
one way          
           
insistent patient          
persistent life long life wagerer          
while I wager with death          
addicted to waves          
slowly eroding my depth          
I’m addicted          
and out of my depth          
addicted            
when you picture me          
it ought be a malicious  me          
born to be dead          
I smiled when that line crossed my head          
 
it's addicting