Frost

The oldest and most sinister of the manipulations. Frozen in the lies is a terrible place and gaslighting sucks, or maybe it’s just all in my head.

I’m so fucked up over this.  
 
Thanks Thor. Thank you.  
 
I’m not rational enough to get out of my own head.  
 
Karma. You know.  
 
 

Dump him… again and again and again

Sam.  
 
That’s the part about gaslighting. I really feel like I did this. I …  
 
He’s a monster. A real one.  
 
And I’m hanging on by my nails to not apologize for overreacting.  
 
 
Because for two years… it’s all been “in my head.”  

Today I got confirmation that I’m just his narcissistic supply source.  

 
Nothing more  
 
And…. I need friends right now.

That's bullshit - it's all in our head.
Take a piece of that solid ice and stab him with it.
Dam I felt your words, deep.

I love you.

Thank you.

I hurt too bad to stab right now. I just want him and his accomplice to leave.

Forever.

So I never have to see their names again.

God.

This is the second human to actually abuse me as an adult and I feel.. so small. So small.

His girlfriend is already waving her victory  flag and I just want to die

Betty you need a gi- normous hug. A long hug.
I'd wipe your tears for you.
I feel your pain like a dagger.
Sending you love. 💜 🖤

Thank you love.

I appreciate you.

"It's all in your head" sends me over the edge. No shit! Everything is in the head...& it makes it no less real. I have an irresistible urge to throw something when anyone says it to me...like a sedan...at their head

It was real.

He told me my crazy accusations were a game of Frogger and I was on my last life.

He told his girlfriend (who has five profiles here and deserves him) that he couldn’t deal with my crazy accusations about her anymore.

But… it wasn’t in my head.

It was real.

And for someone l… just feel like… I don’t think I want to write poetry anymore

Yeah. I named four in the next poem.

But yeah.

It's also all an illusion,  however that's a topic for another time

It was.  
   
The way I felt was a lie built for a man who needed the absolute best supply in his stable.    
   
I guess that’s my consolation.  
   
Thank you my friend  

Thank you DB.

I had a friend like that too… and when I stop crying I’m going to burn his shit. And he’ll never be a friend again.

Good advice.

He told me that my crazy reactiveness, my seeing patterns everywhere was… a game of Frogger. And we were on the last life  
 
He made it my fault.  
 
All of it.  
 
And begged me to calm the fuck down and trust him.  
 
Then he couldn’t get it up for me….  
 
I thought I was literally going insane. I thought I lost my reason.  
 
But no.  
 
Just my heart.  
 
Thank you.  
 
I don’t think I could make it through the night without you. The shower was just ugly crying on the ground.  
 
Love you.