Dad

It's not 2 am it's 6 52 , yet
 I feel 2 am sad, deep , Neverending heavy .it's not winter ,yet a winters sadness has taken hold . (( you're tough you'll get through this )) I shouldn't have to dad.  I still need my dad  . You're leaving in Two months, am I supposed to just smile and lie , and say IM  SO HAPPY FOR YOU 🙄. Fuck that . If I'm caught crying I can't even say why do you know how fucked up that is . Acid tears litter my face , as I cry hard enough my jaw shakes side to side . It's not 2 am it's 7 22 yet I am  2 am sad .why am I not enough for you to stay.  Do you understand how hard I'm trying for you.  I thought if I buried it all, it would just go away and you would stay . IT DIDNT FUCKING Work   .