Looking .

You know I have been looking in the wrong places. A bin to pick up my mistakes and rehashing over them to only put them back in but not after they gave me a good kicking in.

My happiness won’t be found in that.

I try to imagine everything being ship shape, so I am ready to sail past my past, but I hadn’t checked the weather forecast. A storm that sneaked in just as I cast out. I realise I am not even one wave in that it’s nature and I am just reacting to it. So, I drop my anchor and wait and anticipate and ruminate and now complications become my main man.

My happiness won’t be found in that.

When scrutinising to see everything but it compromises the finer details. You can’t look back and forwards simultaneously the night doesn’t try to be the day and vice versa.

My happiness won’t be found in that.

Yes, I have been looking every where for this magical feeling but one place I dismissed is looking within and not out. Why because I am afraid that being me is found only in my yesterday’s and analysing what Is to come. Thing is I forgot one common denominator in all these things. The one I hadn’t seen to busy fixing my attention on too much and it’s just the moment of now. Can’t that be enough without searching for everything but feeling nothing, you forget so much and annihilate every living thing. I think it’s called overthinking a game of Russian roulette just waiting on the cork of a gun.