one last relapse

i lie there
lifeless.

a million thoughts rush in at once,
each more disturbing than the last.
reunited with my glistening savior,
to lead me down this inevitable path.
a crimson river rapidly flows,
welcoming repose.
when will it end?
i scream and cry for some sort of understanding
but suddenly i’m no longer standing,
i can hear my mother demanding,
“OPEN THE DOOR!”
i hear her no more.

i lie there,
lifeless.