deepundergroundpoetry.com
Awake
clouds roll in like drums
rain, tap dancing on my window
like fingers on a table
so I can’t sleep
flashes of images, of you
and her, and her, and her
like screen burn when I close my eyes
so I can’t sleep
camera bulbs burst in the sky.
the house shutters, the bed shakes
nudging me on the shoulder
text messages, “are you awake?”
bipolar weather
and Polaroid memories
keeping me awake,
remembering my mistakes
rain, tap dancing on my window
like fingers on a table
so I can’t sleep
flashes of images, of you
and her, and her, and her
like screen burn when I close my eyes
so I can’t sleep
camera bulbs burst in the sky.
the house shutters, the bed shakes
nudging me on the shoulder
text messages, “are you awake?”
bipolar weather
and Polaroid memories
keeping me awake,
remembering my mistakes
Published 12th Jan 2024
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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The author encourages honest critique.
12th Jan 2024 6:58pm
'' bipolar weather ''that sounds very pshychic, and it refkects the close relastionship with nature.
fine poetry. stay happy
12th Jan 2024 7:10pm
12th Jan 2024 9:52pm
You have made good use of your insomnia.
I love polaroid. The SX-70 was a high mark in the history of photography.
I wish they still made those.
I love polaroid. The SX-70 was a high mark in the history of photography.
I wish they still made those.
13th Jan 2024 1:02am
Turning what could be reality into a beautiful poem is a gift, which you obviously have. Hugs and peace, Oral
13th Jan 2024 6:03am
You seem very young from your avatar, so I just want to say that you have talent, and I suspect you already know that. You inventiveness is on full display and your powers of observation are first rate. If you are serious, seek out the really good poets on this site, read their poems, and try to see how and why they wrote the way they did.
I think you could be a seriously good poet. And that's a rarity. Best of luck.
I think you could be a seriously good poet. And that's a rarity. Best of luck.
13th Jan 2024 6:16am
Thank you so much! I am 30 years old so still young! It is all relative. That is very encouraging!
13th Jan 2024 6:46pm
And...it's from my eighty year old heart. At your age I was still slow-dancing with cliche and hopeless idiocy Seriously, "...adventure on/For from the littlest clue/Came whatever worth man ever knew/The next to lighten all men/May be you." --John Masefield.
This one goes on my fridge.
This one goes on my fridge.
