Numb

Oh hell,
Not again.
I despise this feeling.
The feeling of nothing at all.

Although, at the same time,
I crave this feeling.
The light, spiteful feeling,
Of nothing at all.

Though this may be bad.
It may be something of much concern,
This feeling brings me comfort,
That I must unlearn.

I become weak,
And project hate and fear.
Many have decided I am not worth the effort,
Not the one required to be with me.

I become numb to hide the pain,
Of cruel, cold words.
I don’t know why, but this numbness feels so…
Warm?