Ghosted

Ding. The sound that makes my heart jump.
Is it him?
The sudden rush of endorphins as I pick up my phone to see his name in black and white.
The ding of hope.  The ding of lust.
The exchange of naughtyisms and innuendos lead to more fantasies spoken and we just can't stop.
3000 miles away there's nothing we can do to shut down these feelings but self pleasure.
... and the sound of your voice makes it so easy to achieve a massive flood and an ache inside my body that yearns to feel yours. God do I need to feel yours.
You tell me I'm unlike all others... for once you can see your self with someone and now when you think of fantasies you don't just want to do them, you want to do them with me.
You tell me you want me forever and lets chat tomorrow.

Tomorrow comes and you don't answer.
You message something came up and to call back later.
But later you don't answer either. I send a message and say lets reschedule our video date....nothing.
Perhaps you're just busy I tell myself.  Days turn into a week, turns into two.
A "seen" notation appears on my last attempt in the middle of the night and makes me realize he never even bothered to check his messages -or at least our conversation-all that time.

I start to reflect on the past seven months and all the conversations and wonder what went wrong. You were so incredibly happy and then you were gone. Ghosted.  Discarded like I didn't even matter.

Relationships today are nothing more than meeting, flirting, sexting, fucking, catch feelings and then vanishing before you even knew you were official.