Matrimonial Nomenclature

The fires of desire lose their heat
With unkempt use of words like "wife" or "spouse",
When "peach", "sweetheart", and "mantrap" can't be beat
In combination with a scanty blouse.
 
And she must never run and fetch for me
Since "husband" is no liberating term
And not very good at setting free
A familiar dose of honeymoon sperm..
 
Yes, watch what you call your lifelong mate
Whenever you fancy a first rate shag
Since pet names may set off a great debate
Risking the chance of...cupidinous...sag...
 
So with terms of endearment, use your tact,
To glory amain the conjugal act!