Anxiety

Why can't you see all my anxiety thats trapped inside of me so depressed but I don't try to be my reality I don't want to believe trapped in my mind by my anxiety I just want to leave lord please set me free from all this damn anxiety. Feeling so worthless cant seem to find my purpose my feet on the ground but cant feel the surface I dont think this pain is worth it dont want to move no further please take my heart but dont hurt it. What is reality, what is real, must self medicate to no longer feel. Yeah my life came to an end and was forced to start all over again yet faced with so many troubles don't know where to began. Others tearing you down that pretend to be your friend. I had it all until life threw a nasty curve ball enduring such a drastic downfall. Loosing it all, having to make choices that were such a tough call, being lied to betrayed and belittled to the smallest of the small. No matter how hard I tried id get a few steps forward then hit a brick wall, right back to the bottom, after i fall I'd get back up and try hard again giving it my all, just to loose it all and not at my own fault. Everything and everyone that ment anything to me at all was stolen from me. He created so much pain and misery, taking anything and everyone that came even close to making my happy. He wanted to see as he made my heart bleed to the point I would plead to end this life I was living. I felt the life I was living was no longer worth living, i felt like giving up and I was so tired of pretending. Pretending like I was actually living, daily wishing and wishing this hell I was in would no longer be existing. I was like stuck in the mud with my wheels just spinning and spinning, deeper holes I kept on digging now forced to once again start at the beginning. My troubles kept on persisting, persisting a helping hand more or less insisting. My troubles most definitely needed some assisting and although at first I was a bit resisting, I thought to myself maybe it was time to accept help with all my troubles exisiting and as I started listening i started to feel like I was actually breathing and all the hope I had stop believing i once again started believing.
-Jess D.