A Deserving Nature

What do I not deserve?

I do not deserve it
I do not deserve anything
I do not deserve compassion
I do not deserve liking
I do not deserve respect
I do not deserve recognition
I do not deserve admiration
I do not deserve friendship
I do not deserve family
I do not deserve kinship
I do not deserve living

I do not deserve it
I do not deserve nature
I do not deserve the night sky
I do not deserve the moon
I do not deserve the stars
I do not deserve the sun
I do not deserve light
I do not deserve trees
I do not deserve animals
I do not deserve life

I do not deserve it
I do not deserve sight
I do not deserve touch
I do not deserve hearing
I do not deserve taste
I do not deserve smell
I do not deserve my body

I do not deserve it
I do not deserve music
I do not deserve art
I do not deserve feeling
I do not deserve technology
I do not deserve relations
I do not deserve the world

I do not deserve it
I do not deserve love

I do not deserve it
I do not deserve you

I do not deserve it
I do not deserve them

I do not deserve it
I do not deserve being

I do not deserve it
I do not deserve

What do I deserve?

I deserve it
I deserve
I deserve nothing
I deserve nothingness
I deserve emptiness
I deserve hatred
I deserve self-deprecation
I deserve annoyance
I deserve complication
I deserve suicide
I deserve death
I deserve blackness
I deserve infinity
I deserve loneliness
I deserve contempt
I deserve ignorance
I deserve cutting
I deserve pain
I deserve it


They say that “no one deserves these things”
But I’m no one
I’m not one
I’m not an individual
I’m not a person
I’m not a human
I deserve these things because I exist and because I exist, I don’t exist
I deserve nothing a I don’t deserve anything
Don’t worry
I deserve it
I can take it

I can take it all