everything right

 
everything’s right
now

because I crawled into your lap
wrapped my arms around your neck
sweetheart nightgown
that shouldn’t look sinful on
a
body
like
mine

and I nuzzled the side of your neck
whispered and all
my dirty little secrets
knowing you’d take care of it

and you did

(and you did)

now I’m curled in the
corner of the bathroom
while the water fills up the tub,
the black marks on my white ass
an othello board
against the dark green tile

as I sink into the water scented
with cheap sentiment and expensive oil
I wince,
hit hard
by the skin deep
wounds

and it reminds me...

it reminds me

that I crawled into your lap
with pink lipgloss
and open eyes
and told you
I wanted to
lick your sickness

and you smiled,
and served it to me
face down on your lap
admiring the way
I gasped when you
you backed those soft words up
with hard hands,
and harder eyes,
until my face was that
radiant helpless
that only tears brings out.

I said was OK,
and you kissed
my wet cheeks,
and then
showed me I wasn’t OK yet,
not even close,
I hadn’t yet learned
what bad girls do,

so you showed me
(you showed me)

when you pulled out
the only thing harder than your
than your eyes,
and beat me from the inside
like I was a dog gone bad
in a fighting ring.

now,
the nightgown lays stained
on the bathroom floor
a reflective puddle
of useless lace
crusting lust

(like me)
(like us)

the bath water sloshes a little
as I try to get as comfortable
in my skin
as I am
when yours
smacks against mine

and everything’s right now

everything's right,

now