i shouldnt be here

you see,
i’m in a place i never thought i’d be,
and everyone else is more excited than me.
though i’m just filled with anxiety.
 
you see,
i never thought i’d make it passed sixteen,
but i did and now i guess i’m free?
but sometimes i don’t feel like me.
 
you see,
my whole life feels like a dream,
not a good one, one filled with agony,
i think childhood left some debris.
 
you see,
my childhood wasn’t filled with glee,
i know my parents disagree,
but what i remember is my memory,
and that memory made me not me.