I choose myself

 
Walking away from you forced me to choose myself
For years I thought I would love you until it killed me
14 months into our relationship I called it off
When you talking of a future with me sounded like a life sentence
Watching you fall off the pedestal I put you on
Showed me you weren’t a god and I didn’t have to worship you anymore
You were just a man who got in my brain
And walking away ended 7 long years of pain
I ripped up the seeds of self  hate  you  planted
It took me time to get to down to the roots as they had grown for nearly a decade
Like weeds they had gotten good at clinging onto me
Leeching my sense of self and rotting my core
In their place I am planting my own seeds
Seeds of self love and I will never let anyone rip up the flowers that will bloom
I will not let anyone make me feel like I am hard to love
Or that it is shameful to love me
I am worthy
Of love and kindness and I am whole
And I would rather be alone than ever sacrifice myself in the name of love
Finally every inch of hold you had on me is gone
 I finally have chosen myself.