Roaj Munety

This is some work from a thriller i am writing. Ive never dabbled in this style before and i am just looking for some opinions on how I am doing so far. This is a first draft and is very rough, so i apologize for any grammatical errors you find.  
If you wish to comment please be honest, good or bad




                                          Prologue



     Baker felt the bullet tare through his side, felt several of his ribs shattering under its lethal force. He cried out as he staggered to the side. He managed to get behind a support pillar just in time to escape the next few shots that sparked as they chewed into the concrete wall and the edge of the pillar.
     “Come h’on Baker! Show me that pretty face oh yours. I’ma spruce it up with some hot led.”
     More sparks flew from the side of the pillar Baker now leaned against. His breath came in quick shallow gasps. He held his hand over the wound trying to stint the flow of blood. Already he was numb from the wound done on his left side. He felt his body growing cold as blood continued to flow from the tear in his sie and he knew the bullet had hit a vital spot.          
“So howis it feel Bakker, your life slipping through your fingers?! I had to watch Glin die because of you. Now your gana die just as slow as he did.”
Kall suddenly stepped around the pillar, Baker’s own stolen Glock held in his quivering hand. Kall’s eyes were open wide, showing all that was left of his sanity to be nothing more then shadows tinted by twisted madness.
“Ahaha, hi ahgahhghaha!” Kall’s body twisted and wreathed like that of a true madman as he laughed hysterically.
Baker’s free hand waved through the air in front of him as if he were trying to ward off some apparition. He felt a fear deeper then anything he’d ever felt in his life. It pierced like razor shards through his whole body and he began to shiver uncontrollable. The shiver was born of the fear but it was also from his body shutting down as he lost too much blood.
“Plea..se, d don’t… pl.” Baker pleaded feebly as blots of blackness began to dance before his eyes.
“How… how dare you plead for your life! How dare you!” Kall empted the rest of the Glock’s clip into the pillar around Bakers incoherent form, then he spun and staggered off to the side as another hysterical laughing fit twisted him. After awhile he gained enough control of himself to reload the Glock. Then he staggered back over to Bakers now unconscious body that slumped low against the pillar.
“No don’t ya dare die yet. I aint done with ya yet BAKER!” Kall lost his last shreds of sanity when he saw Baker slumped against the pillar unconscious.
The Glock sounded again and again. Until all that could be heard echoing through the parking structure was the metal clicking of an empty gun clip and the soft sobs of a broken madman.            




Chapter 1
                           Secrets



“Sir please. Hear me out.” Roaj’ fingers dug into the soft cushioning of the desk chair he stood behind. The pen Baker held continued to scribble across a document, he didn’t even look up or react to Roaj’s strained tone.  
     “At least consider what I’m asking sir? I need her for thi-”
     “No! Roaj I’ve been indulgent of your persistence up to this point. But your lack of faculty skills in handling your assignments on your own is quickly bringing me to seriously reflect on your usefulness to this firm. Your days of being able to skate by on the proverbial coattails of your uncle are over.”
     Baker stood and leaned on the edge of his desk.
     “You have one more chance to prove to me your worth the check I write you every month mister Roaj. Now get out.” With that he sat back down and took up his pen.
     Roaj threw a noose over the frustration and anger that were rising in him and forced his feet to carry him out of the chief’s office.  

                                                                  ***

     Roaj stormed out the front door of Baker’s Detective bureau and headed for his motorcycle on the far side of the parking lot. Baker had given him the parking spot farthest from the bureau when he’d first started working for the agency. It was just one of the many things Baker had done to make his job life as miserable as possible. That along with the fact that he was always giving him next to the hardest cases the bureau got. And to top it all Baker usually refused him some of even the most basic bureau assets in solving his cases.
     This definitely wasn’t the first time Baker had denied him a request and certainly wasn’t the first time he had threatened to fire him. In fact it was almost a ritual for Baker to deny him what ever he ask for and threaten to fire him all in the same breath.
     Roaj sighed as he climbed onto his motorcycle and fumbled in his jacket pocket for the keys.
     -Maybe its time I found a new job.- Roaj finally got the key into the slot and started the engine. He looked over at the bureau building and shook his head.       
Ya, it was definitely time to find a new job.

                                            ***

     “Fran, chief wants to see in his office now.” Welsh called across the open office space were all eleven of the detectives working for the Bureau had their desks set up in small walled off cubicles.
     “Ya, ya, just a second.” Fran said under her breath.
     “Now, Fran.” Welsh had the hearing of a bat and sometimes she forgot that. She sighed and saved the document she was working on before getting up.
     -Time to face the rabid lion.- she thought with a thin smile pulling at one corner of her lips. Everyone new Baker had a temper that could flare quicker then a bullet from his prized custom Glock could leave the chamber.
     She made it through the maze of cubicles, got to Bakers office door and knocked.
     “Come in.” Bakers strong voice sounded clearly through the oak door.
     “Ah yes Detective Fran, please come in, have a seat.” Baker motioned to one of the two chairs sitting in front of the desk.
     “I hope you won’t mind but… there’s something I need to tell you. And it needs to stay off the records so to speak.” Fran was taken aback by the almost humble, even dejected state Baker seemed to be in. He hadn’t looked her in the eye once sense she’d come into the room.
     “Yes sir I understand. I’m listening.” She prompted, somehow feeling he needed a reason to start speaking again. He cleared his throat and finally looked her in the eyes.
     “Fran… I’m going to die the night of the 17th.”








Chapter 2
                      A world upside down





Roaj kicked the stand down as he turned off the lights and parked in the spot outside of his apartment. He looked up at the one window in his apartment facing the parking lot, even in the quickly darkening light he could see the curtains were open just as he had left them.  He reached behind his jacket and unbuttoned the safety strap on his gun holster. He had carried his gun at the small of his back since becoming a detective; somehow it had always felt more natural having it there instead of on his side or under his arm.
     He walked up the three flights of stairs to his apartment door on the third floor at a leisurely pace. Stopping in front of his door he ran through his customary check list of the way he always left things when he went out.
     The door mat was in the same position. The door-handle advertisement he had kept for this sole purpose was still standing on top of the handle with its corner caught by the edge of the closed door.
     Then his right hand strayed to the holster at his back when he looked up and saw the small pin he had installed at the top of the door sticking out. The pin was designed to trigger and pop out whenever the door was opened. The only way for it to go back into its slot was to push it manually, whereupon it would lock into place until the door was opened again.
     He pulled his gun out of its holster and tried to figure out how on earth whoever had gotten into his apartment had managed to get the advertisement tag back into the same position from the inside when closing the door. Then he saw a minute tare on the edge of the tag just below were the corner was caught in the door. A tare that most likely came from a small wire that had hooked through the tag and held it in place as the door was shut. From there it would have been a simple thing to pull the wire out of the door.
     -Nice trick.- Roaj thought as he flipped the safety off on his gun. He put his ear to the door and listened, but even after waiting a minute he still heard nothing.
     -Ok, time to meet my guest.-
     He grabbed the handle and twisted and threw the door open. He stood poised on the balls of his feet ready to dodge to the side for cover if someone was waiting for him on the inside. But he could see no one anywhere in the dark living room that the door let into.
     Cautiously he stepped in threw the door, his gun sweeping along with his eyes over every crevice of the room. Still no sign of anyone and not a thing of his meager list of possessions had been shifted out of place even slightly. He used his foot to softly push the door, when he was ready he pushed it all the way closed and a soft clicking sounded as the automatic locks he had installed fell into place.
     The automatic locks were set to go off after the door had opened and closed twice; they could only be released by entering a nine digit code on the key pad next to the door.
     He slowly made his way through the small kitchen, both bedrooms, and the small laundry room. He was beginning to wonder if the pin had simply triggered itself under some odd reason when he found no sign of anyone having been in his apartment. But then how could he explain the tare in the tag. Something was up he just couldn’t figure it out.
     He was still trying to come up with an explanation when he walked back into the living room. He cursed him self for having dropped his guard so easily, as he stared at the business end of a silenced Glock.
     A femininely smooth hand held the Gun aimed perfectly centered over his heart.
     “Mmm… Detective Roaj Munety, I expected more from a man of your competence. Though perhaps I shouldn’t have, after all men are often the stupider when compared to women.”
     “Well I’d say that all depends on who’s looking through the kaleidoscope.”
     “Indeed mister Roaj, indeed. Now if you wouldn’t mind I’d really like to have that gun you’re holding somewhere other then in your hand.”      
     Roaj sighed and slowly raised the gun he was now only holding onto by one finger still through the triggers safety guard. He feigned the motion of throwing then tossed it across the room. The woman’s free hand caught the gun mid flight. Roaj had hopped for it to distract her even a little, but the hand that caught the gun was the only thing that moved. Not a single part of the rest of her body showed the barest hint of motion, even her eyes which he could just barely see in the darkness of the room didn’t flinch at all.
     “So what now, are you going to shoot me or something?”
     “Oh no detective Roaj. I’m not going to shoot you. In fact I’ve been waiting to see how you’re going to try to get yourself out of this situation.”
     Roaj shook his head.
     “Then I’m afraid you’ll be sitting on my couch for a long time. Because I don’t try to get out of a situation when someone is pointing a gun at me.”
     “I think quite a few inmates shivering in their cells would vigorously dispute that fact detective Roaj.”      
     “You seem to know me well enough. I however am at a loss in guessing who you are. So how about you fill me in while we wait for something to happen.” Roaj turned and casually walked over to the recliner opposite the couch the woman was sitting on. The woman’s Glock fallowed him every step of the way, again she didn’t even flinch to show surprise that he would even consider moving while under gunpoint.
     “You’re either a very perceptive man or an extremely conceited one, to move while at gunpoint when the person pointing the gun has not given you permission to.”
     “I’d like to think I’m quicker apt to the former, but perhaps I do partake of the latter more often then is healthy. In either case. You want something from me and I would really appreciate it if you could get on with asking me already. I do have work in the morning and I prefer to get at least seven hours sleep at night.” Roaj’s tone was casual as he lifted and twisted his left leg, placing his foot over his right knee.
     Roaj timed it perfectly to when the woman spoke. He looked to be only massaging his right foot from the angel the woman was sitting at. But while he feigned the look of massaging his foot, his thumb had found the small button on the inside of his shoe. Her voice covered over what would have otherwise been a very distinct electrical humming that lasted for a second.
     “Indeed. Well than detective. I’ll give you one guess to figure out who my employer is. And I’ll even give you a hint. Who dose your agency call when it stumbles across a case that is out of its jurisdiction, for that matter, who will any agency call in that case?” The woman leaned forward just slightly but it put her into the moonlight coming in through the window and Roaj got his first really good look at her.
     His jaw clenched tight as some forgotten memory leaped in his mind. He had seen this woman before, only once, but he had. Her dark chestnut hair and lightly freckled nose were very hard to forget. Then it hit him, the Clancy case, almost seven years ago. It all came flooding back at once, the long debates between Baker and the secret service over jurisdiction for the case that Roaj had been on for almost four months. How the secret service had slowly but steadily pulled the case out from under Baker’s feet. Then he remembered that last conference, the one in which they had finally cut Baker’s agency completely from the Clancy case, recently dubbed top secret. She had been there then, Roaj had only seen her from across the table, but he remembered her very distinctly. Mostly because she was the one Agent Donavin Hilvanor had place as the new head detective in the Clancy case. Roaj hated to leave a job unfinished, but he hated it even more when he was forced to let someone else finish it for him.