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Blessed Beloved: The Crucifixion of Jesus (Early poem)
This poem happened during the lowest point of my life after 3 failed suicide attempts. I went on a retreat to a nearby monastery. It was such a peaceful experience in the midst of so much pain, that words can't really describe it. This poem is about one amazing moment during morning vigils. I do not identify as Christian, but this poem still happened.
Blessed Beloved: The Crucifixion of Jesus
written August 11th, 1996
At the 9th hour
Jesus hanging on the cross cried out
My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?
Am I not your blessed beloved?
I know of a child
whose reality was anything
but blessed and beloved
who sat in the stillness of a monastery
watching the lights dim in the sanctuary
as the monks knelt in silent prayer
before the sun has risen
in the early morning
the soft light brings into focus
the simple crucifix at the front of the sanctuary
her eyes focus on the crucifix
on the myth? or man?
who died a horrible death
with nails through his wrists
the child who hurts so badly
finds someone like herself
in the eyes of the man not myth
who experienced such hurt
and yet is God's blessed beloved
she looks into his eyes
daring him with all the hurt there
but he doesn't look away
because he has also hurt
he has hurt so badly he cried out
My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?
in the eyes of the child he understands
that God so loved the world
that he made his blessed beloved part of it
he made his blessed beloved man, not myth
for only by having experienced
can God reach out and truly say:
I am the all powerful myth
but I am not some God on a pedestal
I am also you.
My son has died
not to become God
but to become you
so that you can look at him
in all his pain and glory
and recognize that you are also
God's own blessed beloved.
Blessed Beloved: The Crucifixion of Jesus
written August 11th, 1996
At the 9th hour
Jesus hanging on the cross cried out
My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?
Am I not your blessed beloved?
I know of a child
whose reality was anything
but blessed and beloved
who sat in the stillness of a monastery
watching the lights dim in the sanctuary
as the monks knelt in silent prayer
before the sun has risen
in the early morning
the soft light brings into focus
the simple crucifix at the front of the sanctuary
her eyes focus on the crucifix
on the myth? or man?
who died a horrible death
with nails through his wrists
the child who hurts so badly
finds someone like herself
in the eyes of the man not myth
who experienced such hurt
and yet is God's blessed beloved
she looks into his eyes
daring him with all the hurt there
but he doesn't look away
because he has also hurt
he has hurt so badly he cried out
My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?
in the eyes of the child he understands
that God so loved the world
that he made his blessed beloved part of it
he made his blessed beloved man, not myth
for only by having experienced
can God reach out and truly say:
I am the all powerful myth
but I am not some God on a pedestal
I am also you.
My son has died
not to become God
but to become you
so that you can look at him
in all his pain and glory
and recognize that you are also
God's own blessed beloved.
Published 2nd Dec 2021
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3rd Dec 2021 11:44am
I very much feel that you have seen into the depths of the iconography.
As we have discussed, previously, I have before pondered
taking a vow of silence, and live like a monk.
I still feel the desire to structure my life like a monastery.
I am grateful to have poetry as a medium,
through which to channel the energy from such a state of being...
Neverthelesss...
I do think that such states of being, really facilitate
deep insights into the nature of things.
And this... Is something transcendent.
I was just reading this article
that discussed how like depression went from 9% to over 30%.
However... People who took psychedelics were immune to this.
Now... Psychedelics have been shown to be "a religious experience".
There was a study where religious people were given mushrooms
and 90% of them felt that was the most significant experience they ever had,
ranked closely to the birth of a child.
I think there are different ways to get to that place,
to enter into the "consciousness of the monastery".
I think you have captured this consciousness wonderfully.
This piece breathes and radiates.
I am reminded of the pictures you showed me...
I really admire you for your ability
to expand your consciousness and experience such things,
and then to turn them into words.
As we have discussed, previously, I have before pondered
taking a vow of silence, and live like a monk.
I still feel the desire to structure my life like a monastery.
I am grateful to have poetry as a medium,
through which to channel the energy from such a state of being...
Neverthelesss...
I do think that such states of being, really facilitate
deep insights into the nature of things.
And this... Is something transcendent.
I was just reading this article
that discussed how like depression went from 9% to over 30%.
However... People who took psychedelics were immune to this.
Now... Psychedelics have been shown to be "a religious experience".
There was a study where religious people were given mushrooms
and 90% of them felt that was the most significant experience they ever had,
ranked closely to the birth of a child.
I think there are different ways to get to that place,
to enter into the "consciousness of the monastery".
I think you have captured this consciousness wonderfully.
This piece breathes and radiates.
I am reminded of the pictures you showed me...
I really admire you for your ability
to expand your consciousness and experience such things,
and then to turn them into words.
