Better Than This

I know I am not optimistic
and I don't know when that began
I used to be this and that  
and I can't seem to find my way back
I'm tired of feeling tired
I'm tired of thinking I can't
My minds made up excuses
that my body subcumbs against
I want to do what we dream of  
but I'm afraid, and I know that isn't me
so I haven't tried,  
I haven't gave all you've given to me.
Our family is just beginning  
and it hasn't been perfect at all
we are two flawed people
trying to reshape the pain that we've saw
We know what our parents taught us  
We know what not to do  
but somehow still it creeps between  
through the thin cracks of hurt and truth
I am scared of failing
but in being scared im becoming my fear
I need to breakthrough
tap into my own restoration
for you  
And for myself  
I've betrayed myself through doubting
and by not believing I can  
I'm sorry to you and to myself  
I am better than this.