I'm Destroying Myself

Everything that
Was said,
Was it all reality,
Or some type of fantasy?
I can't remember this
Anymore, break me before
I've fallen too far,
Away from the sun!
Well I'm spending my time,
Doing my best to
Destroy myself..
I know what I'm
Doing is wrong,
But this disease has
Grown so strong.
It's stronger and has
Drowned my will to fly.
I'm destroying myself,
But I don't admit,
That I may need some
Kind of help.
Can somebody get me
Out of my nightmare?
I thought I could control,
I thought I could hold on,
But I failed, and I need
Help to rebuild myself.
I put myself in an abyss,
And this side of me likes
To destroy myself..
I know I should know better..
Yet I spend my time....
Destroying myself...