deepundergroundpoetry.com
Lies
Your lies fall onto deaf ears tonight
False sense of security “are you alright”
“Not quite, but it’s fine”
my pain is such a sight but it’s mine
but might be too much for you
what the hell is a man left to do
because if I let my pride drop I’m a failure too
How am I supposed to be the one to better you
if I can never get better too
That’s why we feed on each other,
every mumble and stutter
trying desperately to crawl out of the gutter
You are my addiction
the reason I cannot dissect real from fiction
this causes the friction inside my head when I’m trying to listen
to my heart about love and submission
Logic is no longer in commission,
Control of my actions pain I now give you permission
to run rampant and free
Take hold of me, tell me that you hate me and disagree
Spark the inner fire of my hate and desire
Maybe then I’ll try and transpire but I guarantee it’ll be blocked out by fear and hesitation
Numbing it all with the dull of intoxication
Six feet under the ground is my destination
You bring to me a sense of severe elation so darling desolation come and put me in my place so I can feel the desecration and the emptiness of all my dread
Another bottle and I’m dead
Hanging on to all the words that you’ve said
Come on baby lay me down for bed
One last permanent nap, eternal rest
No more putting my brain and heart to the test How can I attest against the fucking stress
Before I feel like I become less
Of myself, I’m begging for help
False sense of security “are you alright”
“Not quite, but it’s fine”
my pain is such a sight but it’s mine
but might be too much for you
what the hell is a man left to do
because if I let my pride drop I’m a failure too
How am I supposed to be the one to better you
if I can never get better too
That’s why we feed on each other,
every mumble and stutter
trying desperately to crawl out of the gutter
You are my addiction
the reason I cannot dissect real from fiction
this causes the friction inside my head when I’m trying to listen
to my heart about love and submission
Logic is no longer in commission,
Control of my actions pain I now give you permission
to run rampant and free
Take hold of me, tell me that you hate me and disagree
Spark the inner fire of my hate and desire
Maybe then I’ll try and transpire but I guarantee it’ll be blocked out by fear and hesitation
Numbing it all with the dull of intoxication
Six feet under the ground is my destination
You bring to me a sense of severe elation so darling desolation come and put me in my place so I can feel the desecration and the emptiness of all my dread
Another bottle and I’m dead
Hanging on to all the words that you’ve said
Come on baby lay me down for bed
One last permanent nap, eternal rest
No more putting my brain and heart to the test How can I attest against the fucking stress
Before I feel like I become less
Of myself, I’m begging for help
Published 12th Jul 2021
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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Anonymous
12th Jul 2021 5:38am
I love the rhymes, man, wow...very effective.
Very much like rap. I would suppose this would be read like spoken word performance.
I like it enough I can see myself revising it, if it were mine, that is.
The change I'd make would be to make all the rhymes end-rhymes, with the lines close to the same length.
This would make it a bit monotonous, but...1) that might suit the emotional resonance of the occasion; 2) I could offset it a bit by alternating, just a little: imagine the rhyme scheme like AABBCCDDAABBCCDD.
Anyway, that's my 2 cents, and again, I was impressed, and enjoyed reading it.
Very much like rap. I would suppose this would be read like spoken word performance.
I like it enough I can see myself revising it, if it were mine, that is.
The change I'd make would be to make all the rhymes end-rhymes, with the lines close to the same length.
This would make it a bit monotonous, but...1) that might suit the emotional resonance of the occasion; 2) I could offset it a bit by alternating, just a little: imagine the rhyme scheme like AABBCCDDAABBCCDD.
Anyway, that's my 2 cents, and again, I was impressed, and enjoyed reading it.
Thank you, I did actually write it as a rap a while back and only now put it on here. I usually just think of an emotion and start writing. Rhyme scheme and all of that isn’t really something I think about at all most of the time, I just write until I feel I’ve finished. I appreciate your input tho, although I probably won’t use any of it. Have a good one!
