Flowers for Jack

I guess I've been degaussed,
Anonymous self loathing,
Antagonistic number 7 on the high way,
Threatening transcendence to road,
Always,
On the road.

You taught me that.
You grabbed the frame of my world and showed me how malleable it was,
You blinded freedom with dreams,
Constellating above ideals that changed my world.

You were ahead of every curve, as the rhythms and riddles of yours played their song I was muted to your lyrics.
The backdrop of modern day beat bands,
Backstreet choirs,
It turns out those history books Atlas carried.

So I took to the sea,
She's battered me back many times, every wave a penance,
Every port a curiousity,
Every summer dress and old jack - you.

An apology in the wind for the ghost I was once,
An apology to the girl with the prose, spark and hyurlian smile,
Hazy memories weight break my shadow.

An apology to the one that opened my eyes,
Blue found me the brightest minds of their generation

Whoever I was, I hope you hate him as much as I do,
Whoever you are,
Wherever you are,
I hope you got those dreams you were chasing.

I guess we find our demons,
Eventually.
We understand the breaking point of our mentality,
We see our parents, childhoods, breakdowns,
Throwing darts until we hit the reason,
They're all patterns of a weave we've worn since day one,
We were born into it,
Deterministic, cruel and immovable,
Mine made me awful it seems,
The things that happened in youth I thought I'd forgot about set me on fire,
And ruined that part of the galaxy we shared,
I've found a new jacket now,
I'm mending some of those ragged ends.

You were beautiful and caught in jazz rhythms and your own benzedrine we dreamed about,
You'll beat it, all of it.

Sorry, for it all.
I'm dropping it all and finding the new world soon,
If you stumble upon old haunts,
And that strange lyric rocks that strange nostalgia of a stranger's time,
And a rhyme leads you to wonder back,
Check 'A sea vagabonds world' by moitissier.
I owe you for Kerouac.

A decade has passed, and I still dream in apologies.
I hope you never read these words,
I hope you don't see the rabbit hole that gets you here,
I throw words to Bukowski and hope,
That you were blessed to forget me.