January Dry Spell

I spit you out like blood from a strong left jab.
I stare at you with sunken eyes,
But you'll never see me blink.
I'm abused by you, made real by you- obligated.
I'm not backing down, its not that easy.
Many things course through my veins,
But I assure you greeds' not one of them.
Lust, perhaps insanity- a few shots, speed, weed-
I'm g'd and key'd...
Broken? No, I'm fine.
The prying fingers of a smile rape my perpetually chapped lips.
How do you like me now?
Is this how you envisioned your grade-A, all-American,
     Great White Hope??
Radiating rage, inventing drugs to keep it caged...
Like the eyelid and the omni-potent gleam it protects...
One of the few things I'm glad to still have-to call mine!
A legendary complex mixture of elation,
Being bullied out by what is commonly known as a harsh reality,
But is in all actuality,
Just perverse acts of repressed sexuality...
And the bitter after taste of "the one that got away".
And you know what the worst part is?
Everytime I look at you...
All I see is me.