Hidden Behind

Now this could have been written for me
Brilliant piece
Great write
Ron xx
Sending love and light

my partner always
used that greeting: love and light,
reminding me too

You are the only poetess who makes beautiful chimes of such a tender melancholy ink spill sound like music to the readers' ears

I hope the music
you hear is melodious
and not a sad dirge

if your icon is any indication , a very nice behind....:)

it does its best to behave and be nice

ABAB with couplets on the end, almost perfect.....except, Dawn/form. That slant won't stand. Excellent otherwise. I like the echo of the first and last line.

No poem's perfect,    
but perfectionism in    
critique is super  

I really appreciate your critique - do you think this works better:  
   
yet, you spawn    
Completely wrong conclusions; you won't find (?)

I'm sorry, apparently I'm not smart enough to talk to you. Thank you.

oh! A misunderstanding here - I think

No. I really am not smart enough to know what you're talkin' about. Lol

I was worried I had offended - thanks for the suggestion re the last stanza - I will have a play.

Start after heartbeat in the third to last line.  It would now end ;  yet, you spawn.  She then gives you a new line for the second to last.  Insert this and see if the poem works better.

Nice one, written as a sensual sonnet:)

I think you have a point re keeping the envoi separate but there is an enjambment in the way and envois look lonely out there on their own.

Yes I can see the continuation of a sentence across the lines... great piece:)
 

Gorgeous confessional of a woman who hides her pain to all but a few. You really truly are a great poet. I love whatever direction your muse takes you in. This is beautifully sorrowful.

XoXoXo
John

Having smiled to hide
the sorrow I find sadness
can be sensual

Pain that even the ones we love the most just don’t completely understand.  For words fall short of truly bringing us together. Some sorrows not experienced by another can never truly be explained.  

I think the alternate ending does work much better, it still conveys the message, yet completes the rhyme.

Thank you for the write.

I will get around
to editing and adding
the changes in time