I Will Not Allow That

To be presented with a choice,
I could sit and revisit trashcan  
memories the ones that suspend   
me at the water's edge.
A place where apples grow
that are rotten to the core. 

Where cracked mason 
 jars filled with dead Lilly's 
 the prettiest things to look at . 
 I could watch my battered
 heart tangled amongst 
 twisted limbs that lay naked
 and starving, waiting
for your return.

  
I could, only will not.
For my world, is self created.
I will break away from thoughts
that hinder, bringing forth thoughts
that develop healthy emotions.  

I will break-through confusion,
into the calm my spirit requires 
to break free, of the limited identity
I have chosen for myself 

To dwell on anything less 
would destroy me 
I will not, allow that to happen