A Real Man

i taught myself morals and my own code. i raised myself to know love,loyalty, and truth. i am starting to learn acceptance and peace. so forgive me if i don't believe a man can be loyal because i've never seen it. so many words but yall don't ever seem to mean 'em. waiting on a miracle. lord if you exist give me strength cause the love i once had now just feels so fake. all fairytale; not reality. was i just so vulnerable? i was grasping, holding on to anything. my mind is on overdrive. i just don't want to think no more. what is my life right now? because i should've asked for more. i know i deserve more. i am still being deceived. outside sources trying to help but i don't want to believe that you are lying and hiding things. i guess money really does rule everything. you could've been honest no need to treat me like a fool cause i know i'm just pretending i'm blind because i'm tired, i'm hurt, and i'm sad i deserved more from you i deserved a real man.......