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A New Beginning

Day by day I wither away...

As pain and sorrow reach the brim of my glass,
I take a breath, close my eyes, and hope these feelings will pass.

Emotions rise and I lose myself again,
Spilling drops of sorrow from deep within.

And just as I'm sure that this will be the death of me,
Could it be?
A light at the end of my darkened path.

A sudden change is set in motion,
As if I drank a magic potion.

Love takes control of my heart and soul,
As waves of happiness pass over me and blanket me in an ocean of pure bliss.

Written by Jimmyos

Published 18th Jan 2012

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likes 7 reading list entries 0

comments 11 reads 1209

Commenting Preference:

The author encourages honest critique.

shortie

CAOS737

18th Jan 2012 2:00am

weaves in and out of solid work mixed with reaches for rhyme. too much punctuation! then you kill it with and, and, and at the end... while, as or a host of other options await you. take the time to enhance your vocab and this brilliance will shine!

Read poems by CAOS737

Jimmyos

18th Jan 2012 2:13am

I really appreciate the honest criticism and the compliment. I will keep what you said in mind. I actually changed a part near the end before I published it. I guess it was better the way I had it before; I changed it back now. I believe I've gotten a tad better since I wrote this though, this was one of the first poems I ever wrote :)