Depression

I smile
As you talk to me
When really
I don’t find what’s so funny
In your empty words
Sometimes my smiles and laughs
Are from deep inside
And are really, truly
There
But really
I usually don’t care
Days go by
As I stare
At the empty board
In front of me
As I wait for someone
To see
I think of tears
Drenching my face as rain
Usually does
Remembering the choked sobs
I try and suppress
In bed
Alone
I smile
But Is it real?
Does anyone understand
How I feel?
The road ahead
Is so long
So long
As if I can never stop it
But I keep strong
Even though the rain
Keeps pouring down
When I’m alone
I try to meet your eye
And lie
But I really am thinking
Is this what it is like to die?