27/04/20

No period, nausea, tender breasts,
nows the time to take the test
Pee on the stick then sit and wait  
1minute, 2 minutes the timer hits 3  
pick it up I need to look,
two pink lines clear for all to see.
 
Happiness, worry and then doubt  
Will this be the one that sticks?
1 day, 2 days, 3 and 4
Coffee, chocolate both make me sick  
but they're easy enough for me to kick
I start to relax and hope for the best.
 
Excitement, happiness and delight,
discussing who will feed you in the night,
Pink or blue, girl or boy maybe even twins
Either way we're the ones who win,
A little him or mini me  
Green eyes, blue eyes blonde or dark
We could care less you stole our hearts.
 
Headache, cramping then the blood
We've been here before this is not good
If I close my eyes maybe I can pretend
But my heart is breaking this is intense
Why does this keep happening?
No one knows / just one of those things
 
The same answers every time.
I dont care if I'm young and can try again
Your words dont soothe me any more
They're empty and meaningless  
A bit like me.
It wasn't a baby, its heart never beat.  
Please sit down and shut the fuck up.
 
Who are you to decide if I get to grieve
I cry and I mourne this child I created
Silently, broken alone in my room
It feels so empty inside my womb
I'll never get to hold you or see your smile
But you were here and loved for that short while.