deepundergroundpoetry.com
Liberation
Take the car into the night.
Take whatever I have left.
I don’t care now.
My love is gone.
Take me with you
in the loud car through the night
on wet roads
on orange leaves.
Take me fast
on slim black roads
by the glint
of quick reflector signs
faster
I need the pair of blinding lights.
the fiery trees blown upside down.
Take whatever I have left.
I don’t care now.
My love is gone.
Take me with you
in the loud car through the night
on wet roads
on orange leaves.
Take me fast
on slim black roads
by the glint
of quick reflector signs
faster
I need the pair of blinding lights.
the fiery trees blown upside down.
Published 13th Jan 2012
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13th Jan 2012 2:18pm
10th Jun 2012 00:01am
I'm just casually lurking in your portfolio, and I stumbled across this.
Holy fuck, the opening is fucking brilliance.
"Take the car into the night.
Take whatever I have left.
I don’t care now.
My love is gone."
Who hasn't felt... just... that. YES!
I think the second stz could haunt the reader better if you removed the car reference, leaving it implied at beginning and end.
Take me with you
through the night...
it's sexy and desolate when in context.
And the dismal harsh ending. Loved it.
Holy fuck, the opening is fucking brilliance.
"Take the car into the night.
Take whatever I have left.
I don’t care now.
My love is gone."
Who hasn't felt... just... that. YES!
I think the second stz could haunt the reader better if you removed the car reference, leaving it implied at beginning and end.
Take me with you
through the night...
it's sexy and desolate when in context.
And the dismal harsh ending. Loved it.
10th Jun 2012 1:42am
Thank you Betty. I wrote it some tine back and ran upon it. I wrote it as it was happening. She was leaving and we took the car out together lime we wer escaping from each other, but together. Riding out on slippery autumn roads. The crash never happened, but I wished it the whole way.
